Monday, May 17, 2010

Garden Rant

So here is my first post.  This is going to be a work in progress as I am extremely busy.  This will be a blog primarily about growing berries, but I will throw in random stuff about gardening here and there.  Until I get the time to make this site look nice you'll have to settle for whatever the default is for now.  I like to argue and I like to complain so I'm sure every other post will contain some kind of rant or another. 
So here is today's rant:

Please, please, please people do you know what HARDENING OFF is?  Let me explain... how many of you go from your nice warm house and step outside at 4 in the morning and say, "Burrrr this is cold!"  Of course you do, unless you live in Hawaii but I'm not talking about you guys.  For ever one else you probably put on a jacket instead of standing there dumbfound wondering why it's so cold.  Give your plants the same respect.  Putting a transplant outside without hardening off is like putting your toddler on the front porch and telling him to go get a job.  If he's like my toddler he would simply wander over to the neighbor's house to see if his "friends" are home. 

Here are things that are bad for your transplants: sun, wind, rain, cool temperatures.  Do plants like sun?  Sure, but putting a seedling that has been grown indoors to direct sunlight for a long period of time is like going to the beach on the first day of spring without wearing sunscreen.  If your skin is pasty white from being a hermit all winter like we are here in Portland and you get more than an hour of sun on that first day you will get burned.  Or perhaps some of you should do this just so you can have some empathy for your plants and you won't be wondering why "My plant is all wilty and the leaves are curling."  Likewise for the other ones; plants can withstand wind, rain, and extreme temperatures but only when they've been properly conditioned.  Conditioned is another term for hardening off. 

For example I wouldn't be able to go into a gym and start bench pressing 400 lbs.  For starters I don't belong to any gym and would be thrown out if I tried to just walk in.  Oh and I'm not conditioned.  But if I worked really hard and lifted weights every day, drink massively deadly amounts of protein, and I suppose a small amount of illegal steroids might help; I maybe, just maybe could lift that 140 lbs.  What?!  You actually expected me to say 400?  It would take a lot more steroids than that... and probably different genetics. 

So to end the rant just go out and harden off your plants.  Let's not just throw our toddlers into corporate America just yet.... they still need the conditioning of high school.  How do I harden off my plants you ask?  Go read an actual informative blog!  I'm just kidding, but I don't have time to go into it now.  That will have to be another post.   


  1. hahahahahahaha :) I love it! I've been working on hardening off our seedlings for a week or two now and so far seem to be doing great :D

  2. Jones! So your a berry grower huh? Do you know of any berries that can grow well in partly sunny conditions and in a pot? -- Annie

  3. The problem is most berries like as much sun as you can give them. As far as growing in pots you might want to stay away from vine berries such as rasp, black, or salmon berries. I would suggest blueberries. They are fairly cheap and take well to growing in pots. Some like to grow large (as tall as 8 foot) so you might want to also stay away from those. But the majority do well in small pots and will still produce a bounty. Also I saw blueberries going for over $8/lb for fresh at our local store so they are well worth it. I have our against the house which only gets sun part of the day and they still seem to be enjoying it. You can also try the elusive huckleberry(simply a wild blueberry) and that loves the shade. Hope this helps.